Wo ai xi can!!

When I’m traveling, I tend to blindly assume everything’s going to come out all right. There won’t be mice in this bathroom! Of course we’ll get off this island! Sure this is the right bus! But traveling with Zorro is an endless list of bad things that could happen. What if there are no taxis when we get out? What if they cancel our flight because of bad weather?

Our adventure was somewhere between my daydream and Zorro’s warnings. Our first flight was about 2 1/2 hours late. Apparently the American Embassy in Beijing closes from 12 to 2, and as we watched the clock get closer to noon and our taxi’s meter increase, it was getting more and more like a mad dash to the embassy, like in a movie.

The taxi driver dropped us off at the beginning of a maze of embassies, and we had to show our passports to several guards to get into the complex. If I actually was running to the embassy for santuary, I’d be a citizen of Finland now. By following the guard’s directions, Zorro and I found ourselves standing outside the wrong embassy. There was a big shiny gate, actually they polish that gate every day to protect the Finnish. (Bethie, I wish you were here!)

When we found our way through a maze of broad, tree-lined avenues, all alike, Zorro’s paperwork was quick and painless. We were out of American Citizen Services in under an hour and it was time to get on with my real business in Beijing.

Can I just mention how much I love traveling with Zorro? First of all, his Chinese is way better than mine. Second, waitresses, flight attendants, security guards, taxi drivers don’t know what to make of a Chinese American. No one knows whether to address him in Chinese or English. Except for service people ignoring me to speak to him, it’s great.

The real purpose of the trip, for me at least, was to eat decent food. I remember once trying to talk Stick and some of the Griffon Games boys out of eating at Subway, but in Beijing? I was so excited to see an (almost) English menu and real bread and boneless chicken and cheese! We also went to a TCBY and a Pizza Hut.

And we went to the grocery section of the Friendship Store. This is a mythical place, previously known like Atlantis or Shangri-la, in persistant but unproven rumors.

There was bread. Cereal. Cheese. Not the Kraft singles that you can get at the Jiajiayue, either. Cheddar, edam, brie, gouda. It was amazing. I asked Zorro not to stand near me when I checked out, but he did and he’s still laughing about how much I spent. Only the embarrassment of being broke at my parents’ arrival next week stopped me from buying more.

In the airport, going home, security had never seen or heard of Nutella, and Zorro and my combined Chinese vocab was useless here. I really should learn to say “delicious spreadable chocolate hazelnut food”. Finally, they determined it wasn’t explosive or inflammable, and we were allowed to board our flight home.

Finding Equilibrium

I’ve known since I was little that gas expands to fill all the available space. I knew this rule like some of my students know their wordlists, so I mean I was able to repeat it when prompted or write it on a test, not that I was ever able to apply it in a meaningful way. It’s still the same amount of gas, right? So how can it fill a small container and a big container? I’m twenty-five and it totally boggles my mind.

Today in the grocery store, I finally understood.

Now, the Chinese do not form lines. Ever. Everything in this country is first-come, first-serve. I didn’t realize how this had affected me until Stick was visiting and I pushed him through the airport at top speed. He tried to tell me that there was no need to rush, we had tickets for reserved seats, and I just laughed. And ran faster. In the supermarket, the correct way to buy meat, fresh bread, fruit or vegetables is to push your way up to the counter and shout what you want.

The Chinese also don’t walk in a straight line. Ever. This may sound like hyperbole, but it’s not I’m not so crazy about the daily near-death experiences that occur when a bicyclist spots her friend or some apples on sale or something shiny. Fortunately, there are no shopping carts in my local supermarket. Instead, shoppers use baskets, usually one between two people, who are each holding a handle and walking in opposite directions. Because most of the aisles are blocked with people, it feels like most of Yantai is in the grocery store.

And yet, when we’re done shopping, this huge crowd can compress into a tiny, tightly-packed mob at the checkout counter.

Columbine Trail (Colorado Springs, Colorado)

Columbine Trail http://www.springsgov.com/Page.asp?NavID=3396 The trailhead is on the south side of the road, about 1.5 miles up the road from the main park gate by the Starsmore Discovery Center. Hikers only. A beautiful green space park that brings together the lower canyon with a rushing clear river with herbal flowers, brush, live oak, aspens, and pine; with an increasingly steep climb from elevation 6,250 to 7,300 ft upwards through one of Cheyenne Mountain’s canyons. Beautiful flora and fauna, interesting geology, and rock climbing availabilities … this free green space doesn’t charge for parking and is a great place for hiking and outdoor recreation. You can take this trail from the Starsmore Discovery Center up to Helen Hunt Falls. Rating: 4 stars out of 5.

Photos © 2006 Technogypsie.com

Eat a Roach, Skip a Line

In keeping with their Halloween theme, Six Flags Great Adventures has come up with a publicity stunt that is sure to turn a few stomachs. If you can eat one madagascar hissing cockroach you can earn the privilidge of endless line skipping. I think I would rather pay for that privilidge thank you very much.

This yummy contest begins Oct 7 and continues til Oct 29.

Someone Else’s China

Most nights, I go to dinner with my co-worker, Zorro. (Dave, we miss you!) He’s really fun, loves talking about our students, and he’s been really helpful with my Chinese. Of course, when we go out, no one will listen to my Chinese.

Waitresses can understand my halting Chinese when Zorro’s not there, but when he is, they check with Zorro on every request I make. Sure, my Chinese is terrible, and customer service is just different here, but sometimes I feel like the hapless victim in a Monty Python sketch.

Zorro can also read a lot of characters so I’m always asking him for help. Me walking down the street in China is a lot like a car trip with a kindergartener, but instead of shouting out letters and numbers, I look for characters I can read.

I ask questions like “What’s that character? Second from the left? It looks like bu written on top of tian… I think I’m going to call it Hell.”

I can’t imagine what China must be like for Zorro. He has an entirely different set of assumptions than I do. He doesn’t get the foreigner price, or giggles everytime he speaks. He does get paragraphs of rapid-fire Chinese, based on the assumption that everyone who looks Chinese must speak it fluently. And it’s hard to be a foreign English teacher when you don’t elicit theHELLO!!! LAO WAI! greeting.

Last night, we went to the local sushi place. After the waitress double-checked my order and left, I realized Zorro was looking over my shoulder.

“A guy at the table over there has been staring at you for almost ten minutes!” he said. “That must get really annoying!”

Behind Zorro, I could see a sushi bar full of diners openly or covertly staring at the foreign girl.

“Yeah, it happens.”

Best of Niner Niner September 06

In Blogging Naked, Britain holds their first masturbate-a-thon and in China they put an end to funeral stripteases

 

 

And in Bookadoodle Nancy Callahan continues her Getting Published series, while Starbucks sells childrens books and publishers contine to make billions

Next up in Boomer 2.0 scientists try to map our neanderthal genes

The unemployed get credit cards in Credit Cardenza

Dealsneak continues to show the latest deal around the web with cheap wine, free products, and discounts.

Jewel thieves, Kiwi casino, and another poker pub strategy article all sweep into Games For Money.

High Heels Blog: Nancy gives us a look at ballet inspired heels and Victoria Secrets peeptoe wedges.

In Hipaa Blog VA data is lost once again.

Over at HyperGadget we see that Ditty is no more, a real universal remote control can really control the universe, and microchipped passports.

In the Medcare Forum Doctor Medicare payments are cut and low income families should apply for medicaid.

On Healthy Living: Learn 5 good and bad cholesterols, answer the question: Which Has More Germs, Cell Phone or Toilet Seat? and try these Delicious Seafood and Fish Recipes

Head over to On Movies and read Leafworks reviews on movies such as Snakes on A Plane, RV, Final Destination 3, The Descent, and John Tucker Must Die

Powersellers Blog shows that Ebayers are still mad at the rate increases, Ebay Pays Attention to Shipping abuse and Nancy tells about selling in Squidoo.

SEO Updates: Google finally updated Blogger, Yahoo gets hit by a worm and Subtle copy changes can make a difference

In The Diet Logs, Nancy shows us how the 10 Slim-Down Strategies and The Antidote for a High-Fat Meal

Look for the dysfunction in The Single Life, perfect your pickup lines and then head over to Fallout

Wander Worlds: Honesty isn’t always best, leafworks reviews The Siren Project, Lipgloss, and Faith and the Muse.

Shrimp Melon Popcorn

After my last post (and this one, this one, and, actually, almost everything else I’ve written about China), I need to explain that I don’t really hate all Chinese food. There are some amazing foods here, like scallion-egg pancakes and those little red plums. Most food in Yantai is fine, just fine, in a way that makes portion control easy because I stop eating the moment I’m not hungry.

It’s shocking, isn’t it? How can I live in China and not take every opportunity to experience new tastes? I should have a positive attitude and try new foods! But I don’t like Coke, I don’t like potato chips and I don’t like hamburgers so why would I like cocoons on a stick?

The other day I bought melon-flavored popcorn. I guess that sounds a little gross but it’s not as bad as it could be. When I asked the vendor the green popcorn’s flavor, I thought she was saying Shrimp Melon.* I bought it anyway, because I was so intrigued by the strawberry, orange and chocolate-coffee candied popcorn in the mixed bag.

The bag is clear plastic, so you can see the rows of Barbie pink, Nemo orange, Kermit green and, um, chocolate brown popcorn. With a few more ribbons, it could be dancing in the Nutcracker. It was almost too pretty to eat. It looked a lot better that the chou douf and spicy chicken guts sold nearby.

It turns out that orange, strawberry, mocha and Mystery Melon are really good flavors for popcorn. See? I don’t dislike every food in China!

*Chinese speakers: She was saying honeydew but I thought it sounded like Hai mi (海米)gua, Shrimp Melon. Stop laughing.

McCabe’s Pub (Colorado Springs, Colorado)

McCabe’s Tavern
520 S. Tejon St, Colorado Springs, CO 80903
Rating: 3 stars out of 5 visited 9/8/06
A quaint little Irish Pub on Tejon, in historic downtown Colorado Springs … they have a hospitable staff and lively patrons. Good drink specials for happy hour, and very good Irish / American food fare. A great spot for hanging with co-workers after work. Will return …. Had the Shepherd’s Pie and way too many whiskey n’ cokes. A good evening was had by all.

The California Kid

Many of you may know what the best attire is for Southen California. If you dont, let me inform you of what is the best way to fit in at a NASCAR race and daily wardrobe of an eleven to thirty eight year old. Flat billed ball caps and black tube socks. Hard to believe but this is what nearly all of the fans were wearing. Yes, black tube socks, whats up with that? The flat billed ball cap, practically unheard of for a regular american to wear on a daily basis unless you are involved in some X games type of sport, but apparentely So Cal is the mecca of this attire. Does this make So Cal an X games state? If yes, then I guess this is why we follow such fans as Shuan White and Jimmie Johnson, the national hero of most female NASCAR fans, but seriously what gives with the tube socks pulled high and flat bills? Is Cali so cool that the other forty nine states are just second place? Second to the tubes and flat bills, there are the mo hawks, tattoos, and goattees. Quite the statement in the land of movie stars and extreme athletes.
Now, I have been going to many a NASCAR race over the last two years and have seen my share of shaved heads with 8’s and other such parafanalia, but I have never seen such a desire to flaunt ones love of another athlete like I did this weekend. Jeff Gordon is from California and has quite the following and fan base down in So Cal. Upon seeing this individual I immediately told my counter parts and made sure we got a picture of this handsome man and his haircut. During the photograph that we were able to take with this man I inquired as to how much time he spent on this work of art. Replying without hesitation he told us that it took just under 2 and half hours including the dying of the hair, or whats left of it. So proudly we stood as his girlfriend snapped off a memory that I will have forever and now share with you….

The 9/11 Memorial

I lived in New York for eleven years and plan to go back to visit the 9/ll memorial when it is built. Their are many designs but I thought that this one was truly eye catching. The artist designed it with the intention to catch our eye. It was designed so that no matter where you are in Manhattan, all you have to do is look up and you will be able to find the memorial.

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